10 Annoying Things Every Couple Does (But Never Admits to)
Congratulations! You’re in a blissful relationship. We, your single friends, are happy for you. But… a favor? Resist the urge to do this:
1. You answer every question with "we."“We think that sounds great!” “We understand completely.” “We just LOVE this pesto sauce!” We, we, we. This is no big deal when done sporadically. We all do it. (Oops.) But non-stop? On a superficial level it’s irritating, and on a deeper, more troubling level, it makes us think you’ve lost your own identity.
2. You think every event has to be couples-only.Think you should ONLY hang out with other couples, as if the fifth person at a dinner table would be so uncomfortable, so flummoxed, that to spare them public shame, they shouldn’t even be invited? It’s okay. We can handle it. Single people are people too.
3. You gush about your love on Facebook.Facebook posts like this should be illegal: “I love you so much booo booo! When we met at that bagel stand, who would have thought that you would become the apple of my eye, the fire of my loins, and the reason that my heart keeps beating? Mmmhuuuah! #Smooch.”
4. You ditch your friends constantly.The Hunkerers: the couple who spends every Friday and Saturday night at home, cooking, and binge-watching HBO Go. We know it’s tempting. (Free entertainment! Free companionship! Free sex!) Friendships, though, are like plants: They need some nurturing or they can wither and die.
5. You're a tireless matchmaker.You’re done with dating, so you vicariously relive your glory years by setting people up. This is often appreciated—and clearly your heart is in the right place—but too much can be exhausting. (Unless your friend is really, really hot.)
6. You always yap about the baby.Your baby is the cutest baby ever. We love him/her. He/she is delightful and brilliant and is, without a doubt, destined to be an astronaut and/or president. But even toddlers, like whiskey, are best appreciated in moderation. Don’t be that woman from Seinfeld who says, “Jerry, you have to see the BAAAYYBEE!”
7. You can't keep your hands (or lips) off each other, even in public.A quick kiss? Fine. Arm around a shoulder? Fair game. We draw the line, however, when you’re pawing like the wild monkeys on the Discovery Channel.
8. You're all about the VDA.The lesser-known cousin of PDA: VDA, or “Verbal Display of Affection.” It’s good that you’re proud of your significant other, but if they’re the only thing you talk about, remember that you also have a life. VDA occurs when you’re catching up with your best friend -- alone -- and still talk obsessively about your boyfriend (or girlfriend). Everyone can use a rest.
9. You assume your partner is invited to everything.Sometimes we want to see you and your significant other. But sometimes we want to see just you. Mix it up a little?
10. You over-compensate by sharing nothing.Let ‘s clarify: we’re happy for you! (Really.) And we like your significant other. (Probably.) So don’t shut us out and share nothing about your relationship; we want to hear about the good stuff -- we want details. We want stories (just not… all the time).
What annoying couple habits can’t you stand?