Buzz From The Boards: What’s Your Fighting Style?
Last week we reported on a study that revealed newlyweds and longtime couples fight differently–and we asked you to share how you and your partner tend to disagree. Check out some of our favorite responses (any arguing styles sound familiar to yours?):
“My husband and I have been together almost 13 years but married for only 3 of them. I can definitely see the change in our style of fighting over the years. I think part of it is maturity, and then learning how to argue with each other without it being a huge massive argument. I also think that settling into your marriage, routines, roles etc., has a lot to do with it. “ – chrisnjay0512010
“My husband and I just had this conversation the other day. We’ve been together 12 years, married for 8. In the beginning, every issue was a screaming, crying, throwing things kind of big deal. Now we can tackle arguments about much more serious issues in front of our toddler without getting heated or upsetting him. So we’re much, much calmer now. We’ve never let things fester though. We always talk about it when it gets to a point where something is really bothering one or the other or us. So we argue just as often for the most part, just much more quietly. It’s more productive this way for sure.” – Kimbus22
“In the beginning of our marriage, every fight was screaming, yelling, and name-calling. Not constructive at all. Now that we have been together for a while, we have learned how to communicate when we are upset at each other, and we know how to make sure the other person is listening…” – banda522
“I don’t know. We had the biggest fight of our relationship a month or so ago. We’ve been married 8 years, together for 12. It sucked, but I think it had to happen. Sometimes there’s stuff to fight about, sometimes there isn’t. Most of the things that can bring us into conflict we worked out a long time ago, but stuff can still come up, and I don’t see much benefit in keeping the peace if it comes at the expense of each of us getting the opportunity to say our peace.” – sillygoosegirl
“We hash it out but if the topic is a serious issue then we try to wait until we are calmer to talk it out. Arguing about serious topics when you are angry never ends well!” – Courtny E.
“Hash it out. It’s best to get if off your chest ASAP. Otherwise, anger and resentment festers, and that isn’t good for any relationship. After almost ten years together and two years of marriage, I know this is what works best for us.” – Justine L.
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