Did You Buy Your First Home Before You Got Married?

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As you know, my hubby and I hoping to purchase our first home together — like, before our lease expires in Oct 1! We’ve been renting apartments in DC and NYC for the last decade, thanks to our budget-busting desire to live in big cities instead of returning to our small-town roots. Geographical complications aside, our home search is trickier because our super curious two-year-old comes to nearly every open house with us. On those Sundays when I’m pulling him away from (or out of) a stranger’s cupboards, I’ve often fantasized about how much easier it would have been if we had won the lottery and purchased our first place sooner.

So it doesn’t surprise me at all that in a new survey of 1,073 adults, Coldwell Banker Real Estate discovered that 1 in 4 married millennials purchased their first home with their spouse before they got hitched. To me, the timing makes total sense: you’re about to walk down the aisle, why not have a place of your own to settle into after the honeymoon?

“In a way, a home has become a new engagement ring,” asserts Dr. Robi Ludwig, a psychotherapist who worked with Coldwell Banker to conduct the study. “And what we found is that the communication and transparency required to achieve the dream of home ownership brings couples together and teaches valuable relationship skills that can come in handy later on.”

Makes sense. After all, marriage brings about a lot of challenges, as well as many joys (from more sex to fun date nights!), so the earlier you start working through the hard stuff together the better!

Of course, you have to have the means to purchase your own pad before you get married to actually do it. My hubby and I certainly weren’t in that position when we wed nearly 10 years ago. We were in our early 20s, working as junior editors and we lived on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC. The Hill isn’t Brooklyn but it isn’t my native (and more wallet-friendly) suburban Columbus, Ohio either. In fact, I moonlighted as a waitress to help make rent (and, I’ll admit it, stay on top of my shoe obsession) until my mid-twenties!

What about you? Did you purchase your home before you got married, or did you wait until after you tied the knot?

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