Are Opposing Political Views Ruining Your Relationship?
Photo: Veer / The Nest
You’re early to rise; he sleeps through the alarm. You prefer your coffee black; he enjoys cream and sugar. While your personal preferences may differ, contrasting quirks just ensure the age-old adage that opposites attract…or do they?
This month’s presidential debates have proved their significance in dividing voters. But what about those voters who happen to live under the same roof? Disagreement over cereal choices is one thing (Chex! No, Fruity Pebbles!), but clashing political viewpoints is quite another when it comes to a healthy relationship. While it’s easy not to see eye to eye with your in-laws, how do marriages fare when dissenting political views come into play? Readers over at TheNest.com weighed in:
“We agree on some issues, but butt heads on others.” — mrs. Remy
“He’s definitely come over to my side much more since we’ve been together.” — KathrynMD
“We feel strongly about different issues, but our core beliefs are the same.” — meghann1046
“We have very similar views. I think I’ve influenced DH more, because I don’t think he ever really thought in-depth about it before the end of college.” — Cooper81
“I think as long as you agree to disagree, it totally can work. If my husband had different views on moral issues I consider important and that might affect our marriage, then that would be a different scenario.” — white318
“We agree to disagree on politics. I figure as long as we agree on moral and religious beliefs, the rest is water under the bridge.” — srgw
“I think it’s vital to have similar moral views — especially if you’re going to have children. For most couples, I think this leads them to similar political positions.” — R.Wilsonny+
We’re curious: Is it important to you that you and your partner’s political views mesh? Have contrasting opinions affected your relationship?
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I don’t feel its important for us to agree on politics. He is a hard core republican and I am a “bleeding heart” liberal. We disagree on some moral aspects also, but nothing that will ever effect our family because we both have children and are a blended family. We love to debate and argue along with the politicians. We both try to make our points and persuade the other, even though we know that neither of us is going to be changing parties!
My husband and I don’t see eye to eye on politics, but for the most part we agree to disagree. I think in the early days (before we figured out the best way to handle it) it bothered him more than it bothered me, since he came from a family where pretty much everyone had the same views and a slight sense of right views vs. wrong views, whereas my parents have very different views, so I grew up with the idea that everyone has their own view and all the views have a certain amount of validity. I like that our children will get to hear different views and that we do too. It’s also been really helpful to act as a liaison for each respective family – when the more left-leaning members of my family or the right-leaning members of his family make extreme comments about how crazy the other side is, we’re both able to step in and say, “I may agree with you on the particular argument, but let’s remember to keep things civil, since people I love fall into that camp you are mocking.”
I think agreeing to disagree is the best thing a couple can do. So many people get caught up on thinking that they can change their partner — especially their political affiliation!