5 Ways to Tell You’re Too Busy For a Baby
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In a recent interview with Us Weekly, Carrie Underwood was asked if she and her husband, Mike Fisher, had any plans to expand their two-person family. Her response? ”We’re good. I’m super busy and he is super busy. We are still newlyweds. I honestly think that if we brought a kid into it, it would mess things up right now!”
That inevitable question: When are you having a baby? All new couples have been there. It can almost make you question your own timeline (or your decision not to have children). When you’re ready for a baby, you’ll know. Until then, here are five ways to tell that you and your partner do not have baby on the brain — at least not yet.
- You’re just too busy, and you like it that way. If Carrie Underwood’s words resonated all too well with you and your hubby — that you’re so happily busy that having a baby right now would probably complicate things — so be it. When and if you’re ready to slow down and re-prioritize, you’ll know.
- You feel content when you’re together — just you two. If you feel you’ve hit your groove as as couple and there are no time constraints, why rush things along? Savor the newlywed (or not-so-newlywed) phase for as long as you please; no guilt in that.
- You have things left unchecked on your marriage bucket list. Every pair’s got an idea of the things they want to do together pre-baby: Take a long vacation, buy that gorgeous-but-not-so-practical white sofa, enjoy a complete 6-course meal once a week. If you’re not quite confident that you’ve checked off everything you want to accomplish before baby, then keep on truckin’ — there’s no going back!
- You enjoy the daily grind. If leading the team meeting or staying at the office late to deliver an armload of your assignments gives you a sense of fulfillment, great! You love your routine and just don’t feel the need to switch over to a new routine yet. (Just make sure you pencil in some time with your man!)
- You like being carefree together with no distractions. Acting like newlyweds (having sex when you want, going on romantic dates that last hours, and talking all night long) is so much fun. This is quality one-on-one time, and there’s nothing wrong in wanting it to be just the two of you without anyone (or anything) cramping your alone time…just yet
Have you postponed having a baby for any of the reasons? Or for any other reasons?
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I just wanted to thank you for including the possibility that a couple might never want kids. It’s a legitimate choice that gets stigmatized in our society. Good write-up! Thank you for it.
I agree Jen… I’m an elementary teacher and have been married for almost 3 years now. There are people around me having babies right and left and they all act like I’m crazy for not wanting one. My husband and I have decided to wait 5 years before we make any drastic decisions about “cutting” out the possibility of ever having children of our own but as the 5 year mark comes closer, my desire to be perpetual empty-nesters only grows STRONGER and STRONGER!
It seems to me they’ve left a big one out. My hubby & I have been married just over 3 years, and emotionally & lifestyle-wise, we’re totally ready for a baby, but financially we’re just not there. Being ready for a child isn’t all about whether or not you’re ready to give up your alone time, but whether or not you can take care of a child in every way.
Amen sister!!!
I agree with Mandy, I am a teacher too, so I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. I get to watch my students grow and learn and that is fulfilling. I also have a 4 year old niece and both of my sisters in law are pregnant, so if we want to spend time with our nieces and nephews we can babysit or take them to a museum or something. My outlook would probably be different if I had gotten married earlier in life, but at age 36, I just don’t want to push things at the moment. We are good either way at this point.
Taking care of other people children will never be the same as taking care of your own. Believe it or not parents are never going to be financially ready for a child because what you saved up will probably cover the first year or so, but if things come up such as medical emergencies, and the cost of living going up, then you will have to figure out financial needs as you go. I totally agree with waiting a few years or so into your marriage to have kids unless an opps happens. This allows your and your spouse to get to know each other more and enjoy some free time. I have been married now almost three years and having a child now would be a blessing but it will put some plans on hold that i really want to get finished first.
Love this list! 2, 3 and 5 are totally me and my hubby. It is nice to finally see some support for our decision to wait, (and maybe never have kids…) instead of the usual “Why aren’t you pregnant yet?”