Unmarried Couples Are Having More Babies
Photo: moodboard/Corbis
Whoa, mama! According to a new study, unmarried couples who live together are having more babies than ever; births among cohabitating pairs have doubled to a rate of 30% since 2002. The reason? Well, it’s simple: More couples are choosing to live together without tying the knot.
This is the part that I take issue with, though: according to Reuters (which doesn’t name its source), “The increase is important because children born out of wedlock generally suffer more instability and grow up with fewer resources.” I can see this being the case for a child born into a single-parent household, but if a loving, cohabitating couple chooses to raise their baby without a marriage license, how would the child’s life be any less stable? Am I missing something? Is it a custody situation, in the event that the parents end up splitting?
I’m curious to hear your take on this. Are parents being irresponsible if they don’t marry? Do you think their children are inherently at a disadvantage?
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” I can see this being the case for a child born into a single-parent household, but if a loving, cohabitating couple chooses to raise their baby without a marriage license, how would the child’s life be any less stable?” I agree with this statement. Personally, the marital commitment was very important for me to have before choosing to have children. But in other parts of the world, Germany in particular, it’s very common for couples to have children and never marry. Many woman choose to not marry because of her own personal reasons, but who’s to say she can’t still be in a loving committed relationship and have children, too? The way I see it, getting married and having kids don’t have to be mutually exclusive events. Choose one, both or none!
I don’t know what the statistics are but I’m pretty sure that married couples have a lower break up rate (divorce) than cohabitating couples, even with children. However these two groups could be becoming more similar over time.
Also instead of the old statistic has been to compare the well-being of children with both parents in the home to children with parents that were not together. I believe much more significant finding are coming from the difference between parents that are not together but both actively involved with their children and children that have an absentee parent. The latter being the most destructive.
To me the best case scenario is to be ‘all in’ in your relationship before you have children. Of course a piece of paper doesn’t make you permanantly ‘all in’ but is seems like it might be more likely.
I had a first grade student a few years ago who had parents who were not married but they lived together. He told me he thought that was stupid and wished they would get married. In my mind if you like each other enough to have a kid and continue to live together then why not get married?? Your marriage status will matter to your child.
I don’t understand it. Children are for life. It’s a commitment. Marriage can be undone with a divorce and pretty easily in some places, so how/why have a child permanently with someone if you can’t even marry them?